Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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