I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
