Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
