Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You can't motorboat a personality
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
should my penis look like a turkey
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
