so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
