Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
