I don't think brook has ever known best
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
