Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
