Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize