i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
