if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
