the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize