I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
