I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
