When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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