I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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