Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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