ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm too high and old for this...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
