well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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