Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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