im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
