dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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