Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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