I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
