Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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