Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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