3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
