'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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