I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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