every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
