:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
NoShamevember. You game?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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