It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
