and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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