ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
