I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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