My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
