Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish my penis had a tongue
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
