the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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