i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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