they call him Oral-B. enough said
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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