we're chasing vodka with high fives
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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