she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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