everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
