Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
