Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
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Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
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Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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