I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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