So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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