this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
