3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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