I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm jealous of your bromance
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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