this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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