dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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