So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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