they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
