Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
