South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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