So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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