In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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