u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
